knife.

“Do you love me?”

“I don't know."

Oh. That's all?

It felt like a knife was plunged 

in my chest, and it cracked something.

I expected it to feel light 

But it felt heavy, unbearable 

I wanted to throw up,

remove that thing in my chest

I looked up at you for anything,

I saw nothing.

Maybe it was the knife that felt heavy 

But there was no knife 

I gulped, sent that heavy thing

towards my stomach in hopes that 

It will disappear in the pit

But it didn't. 

I wanted to cry, ask for help

But suddenly I saw myself

in the middle of nothing 

I was all alone in this vast place

where it was all red and itchy 

It scratched me, but there was no blood

Maybe because the knife was still stuck

in my chest, but there was no knife

I didn't know how to stop feeling heavy 

I was frustrated, so I just let it be

I just let the knife stay there

which further cracked my heart a little 

But again, there was no knife 

to be stuck, to feel heavy 

I wish there were a knife to kill

to kill this thing inside my chest 

which made me feel like I was dying 

But it did not kill me

So I was stuck here with this knife

in my chest, which I couldn't see,

didn't split me, just felt heavy.

I dared to look down, and there finally 

I saw the knife, stuck in my chest 

disguised as your sharp words

and stupid, stupid lies

killing me slowly.